My mom guarded my sister and I like a hawk when we were younger.
She obviously wanted us to put our studies above everything else. Then, my sister had her first boyfriend when she was in her fourth year of college. My folks weren’t very happy about it, but they gave her the freedom to go into a relationship.
One day, my sister came home crying after she and her first boyfriend have broken up. Our mom asked us to leave the room so she can talk to my sister privately. From outside the room, I could hear her cries (err, howls) and a few hours later, my mom called me inside and made me sit beside my sister; the three of us had a “girl talk”.
So today I am partaking relationship advise and truths that I have learned from my mom that had saved me from years of heartache.
DON’T HURRY LOVE
I think the Supremes nailed it with this particular song of theirs: “Oh my mama said… You can’t hurry love… you just have to wait”. Relationships should be given enough time to grow and flourish.
So girl, take time to assess your feelings. Make sure it’s not just lust, infatuation, or loneliness you are giving into. Relationships shouldn’t be treated like a race, so hit the brakes when you feel it’s going too fast.
IF A MAN CAN SLEEP SOUNDLY AT NIGHT WHILE YOU ARE CRYING YOUR HEART OUT, THEN HE IS NOT WORTH IT.
There’s no denying that couples fight. We’ve all been there at one point in our lives. A man who loves you will avoid making you feel bad unnecessarily, he will comfort you on days that you are upset, and most importantly, he is willing to work with you in resolving any issue in the relationship. If you spend more time crying while in a relationship, and your partner isn’t at all bothered by [the reason behind] your tears (no matter how petty), it’s time to rethink things.
DO NOT SHARE YOUR MARITAL PROBLEMS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
A friend asked her colleague what’s her relationship secret to a long happy marriage. Without batting an eyelash, she said that she and her husband of 30 years never shared their marital problems to anyone, especially with the opposite sex.
According to her, not only can it trigger unnecessary jealousy and rouse suspicion, it may also possibly start an illicit affair. When you prefer to confide to someone else instead of talking to your partner, you weaken your communication lines. Remember, LOVE is the most powerful force in the universe, but COMMUNICATION is not too far behind.
DO NOT LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP
I’m not particularly religious, but I’m certain that this verse can also be found somewhere in the bible. This was also the same relationship advice emphasized to my husband and me when we got married.
Now, I’ve come to realize that prolonging one’s anger is not just bad for one’s health, but it can also further cause the decay of a relationship. Go on regular dates, continue to seduce your partner, insert humor. These are things that are essential to your relationship as gas is to a car.
ALWAYS BE KIND
Our partners can be on the receiving end of the nastiest and meanest insults when we are angry. We also tend to be more critical of them compared to someone who is just a friend. If we can go easy on others, why can’t we extend the free pass to our partners too?
Being more loving, considerate, and kind to your partner brings you both back to the honeymoon phase of your relationship, and we all know (and love!) what that stage feels like.
There are many more things that can make a relationship really work, but it’s your attitude towards your partner and your relationship that will matter the most.