It took me 35 years of being hungry for love, even desperate for it at times, for me to finally wake up and realize that my most important relationship is the one with myself. In my life, I’ve created my destiny within my career, friendships and community. With friends, I’ve really embraced the fact that friends are all unique pieces of a pie. Some will be lifetime friends that are next to family, some are social friends, some acquaintances. I’ve learned to appreciate the various types and unique forms of value that each friend brings, and as well as a system of how much and what kind of energy I invest to whom. I am blessed with the best friends ever, but that inner circle is sacred and thoughtfully selective. Knowing your worth and value is vital if you’re going to have success and happiness in your life. For you to feel fully alive, you must have a strong sense of self-worth and possess confidence. The more you believe in yourself, the more efficient and effective you’ll be in all aspects of your life.
Have positive self-esteem
Recognize the difference you make, be clear about your values and engage in activities that are more fulfilling. We all could develop confidence and have an optimistic view of the self. It all starts with understanding yourself as a person, accepting yourself unconditionally, practicing self-love, recognizing that you no longer need to please other people and taking full responsibility for your life. Many of us have been socialized to think not what a man can offer us, but what we can offer to a man. Do you know what you are looking for? Because once you do, when a clown is pursuing you, you will be able to differentiate him from Mr. Right or even his fine cousin Mr. Almost Right.
Do you think that you deserve a relationship where you don’t have to compromise your value?
This is not a question of your worth but of your perception of it. Do you really believe that you deserve a man who is healthy for you spiritually, physically, emotionally, and who is financially stable and that he’s out there looking for you? If so, I’m pretty sure you would not be entertaining Mr. Can’t Afford to Take You Out This Weekend for the 3rd time in the row. You will keep on meeting the same man in different bodies until you get crystal clear on what it is that you are looking for. Dating without clear standards is like grocery shopping while you’re starving: you heighten the possibility of walking out with something unhealthy that was never in your intentions. The relationship you have is the direct result of how you feel about yourself.
Pretty strong statement, huh? Some have gone so far as to say that relationships are an illusion—that a relationship is just a combination of thoughts in your head. I don’t know if I would say that exactly, but I get the idea. Basically, the way you feel and how you interact with your partner comes from your own feelings of self-worth. Knowing you are a high-value person—strong-minded, independent, intelligent and successful—allows you to walk away from conversations or behavior that hurt you. You don’t have to tolerate conversations that are getting ugly and you don’t have to tolerate the people who are always cutting you down. In fact, you send a strong message to them when you withdraw and stop interaction. I won’t waste my time talking to someone that doesn’t value me. I have a busy life and too many other offers. I shouldn’t have to fight for your respect or your approval.